


You will always live in my heart

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Grieving, Hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 19:23:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13841373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He made his way to the kitchen to make diner when something caught his eye. At the far right of the shelf set near the couch was a book with a dark red cover that he hadn’t seen in a long time.





	You will always live in my heart

Magnus had just come home after a long day of work and was longing for a long relaxing bath with a lot of bubbles. He set down his keys and smiled fondly at Chairman Meow who was watching him lazily from the brand new couch.

“Have you had a nice day Meow ?” he asked his companion, as he always did. As always the lack of answer didn’t prevent him from reaching to pet the cat, before he made his way to the bathroom to prepare himself a much needed bath.

After he had relaxed from his day and made himself something to eat, he made his way to his office and began to put into order the paperwork that was beginning to be piled up due to his distaste for anything to do with cleaning. It was in those moments that he wished he had magical powers like little Madzie liked to think he had. Thinking of the quiet little girl made a smile stretch his mouth and he promised himself to invite Catarina and her for dinner sometime. It had been a long time since he had last seen his friend and an even longer time since his husband had seen Madzie, who he loved as much as any member of his family, despite not having known her for more than 4 months.

He started with the pile of papers on his desk which were mainly rough sketches for the new collection that he had started two months ago despite the lack of inspiration. Looking at them closely he winced at the shapes drawn and threw half of it in the bin. After that he cleaned up the rest of his desk and went to pick the books Alec had dispersed a little bit everywhere – he had the bad habit of reading them and letting them where he had read the last page. 

Once he had put them back in their right place and dusted all the shelves, he made his way to the kitchen to make diner when something caught his eye. At the far right of the shelf set near the couch was a book with a dark red cover that he hadn’t seen in a long time. 

Had it always been there and he subconsciously had ignored it or had Alec put it there when he had last cleaned the living room ?

He hesitated a few second before he took a shuddering breath and went to retrieve the book. He stroked tenderly the hard cover and walked up to serve himself a drink before settling in the couch with the book in his lap. 

He felt a nostalgic wave hit him as he contemplated the golden letters written on the front cover before he opened it. 

The first picture was one of him as a baby, chubby cheeks and unruly hair, smiling at whatever he had seen. The next were all kinds of pictures of him, at birthday parties, at the park, dressed up as an old man… This book contained frozen souvenirs of his life, of his friends and family. He smiled as he let his fingers run on a picture of his mother. He remembered that day, he had just won a price for his designs and she had been so proud of him she had organized a little party with all the people that were important for him. It had been one of the best day of his life. 

She had died three weeks later, from a heart attack. 

Magnus felt the tears that had build up in his eyes roll down his cheeks and he wiped them with his right wrist. 

It had been five months ago but sometimes it still felt like she was still will him, still there to listen to him rambling and exposing his new ideas. He still remembered how she would understand him without him needing to say words, the way she talked sweetly, how little wrinkles would outline her kind face whenever she smiled, the way she moved, the sound of her voi—

Magnus gasped as he struggled to remember the warm tone of the voice that had guided him all his life. Despite all his efforts he couldn’t seem to get his mind to grasp the memory and he stood up promptly letting the open book fall on the soft carpet under his foot.

Trying to fight the lump in his throat hehastily reached for his phone with a trembling hand and composed his mother’s number hoping to hear her voice on the answering machine. 

He felt all his hopes crumble when the robotic voice informed him this phone line wasn’t assigned. He let out an anguished cry and threw his phone against the nearest wall, scaring the Chairman, before he dissolved in uncontrollable tears and slide down on the ground.

 

When Alec opened the door of their loft, he wasn’t expecting to find his husband curled up in a tiny ball on the carpet of the living room, crying his eyes out. Alec cursed and rushed to the man trying to discern what was wrong.

He wrapped his husband in his arms, caressing gently his hair when Magnus’ hand gripped tightly his jacket.

“Magnus, love, what’s wrong?” he asked concerned, his right hand drawing comforting circles in his back.

When the older man didn’t answer and his sobs intensified, Alec let his eyes wander around the room. He frowned at the crashed phone and the impact in the wall at the other end of the room. He didn’t understand the situation and Magnus didn’t seem to calm down. He was becoming more and more concerned and debating on calling Catarina when his eyes fell upon the picture half teared off of a book on the ground. He instantly recognized the kind face of his husband’s mother and unconsciously tightened his grip around Magnus.

“Magnus ?” he whispered softly, not sure he had heard him but not wanting to put too much pression on him.

Magnus seemed to have heard him though and he buried his face in Alec’s neck. “I can’t remember the sound of her voice”, he said with a quavering voice, “I forgot the sound of her voice”.

Alec closed his eyes tightly and sighed, knowing all too well how his husband felt. He tightened again his hug around his sobbing man and dropped a kiss on the top of his hair.

“I’m here love, you’re going to be ok, I promise you, you’re going to be ok. You’re brave and strong and loved and I’ll take care of you.”

 

Hours later after Magnus had fallen asleep from the exhaustion and he had tucked him warmly into their bed, Alec smiled sadly at Chairman meow who had just hopped on the bed before curling next to the Asian man.

“We’ll look after him, you and I, and everyone.” The cat blinked lazily as if to agree, before closing his eyes and joining his master into sleep.


End file.
